Preface

I have become close to someone that has made me ask myself if I can really be honest about my whole life.

In looking at what the future may hold I want to go forward in complete and utter honesty.

Made me wonder, since people tend to believe what they read, i wonder if I wrote about my life, would I believe it? Would putting it down in type, organized help me remember?

If my Grandmothers and Grandfathers read it, is that how they remember it?

What about my mother or father?

Can you even think of life as a book? Is it so linear? Who is writing it? You? Or someone else? God?

If one were to take on such an endeavor, would it be an autobiography, fantasy, fiction, romance or drama?

Or is it a true epic with all the above elements that would make the story great or interesting.

If it was an autobiography, could you write every chapter from memory? How many chapters would you need to skip because you know nothing about those years? How many chapters would you skip or change because you are embarrassed about what happened to you as a child, or the things you did as an adult?

I think for most of us, it’s as if our parents wrote the first 16-20 chapters and then say here, you finish it!”

Doesn’t seem fair. But as they always say, “life isn’t…” well you know the rest.

So i can’t believe i am actually considering this! I am actually going to start writing about my life as I remember it!

I probably will stop sooner than I think because quite frankly, my life has been a mess at times.

Oh, my experiences have been wonderful and increasingly exciting and fun. Certainly there were just as many rough, low, and downright shameful times.
So here goes nothing…..

Walking to the store..found a little treasure

Oh what a perfect day!

My Miniature Horse

Had to go back with my family!!! Same red bridge!

“I keep looking out the window or getting a brief visit outside and as we walk I smell everything, I feel everything, and look at everything. Birds are chirping, lizards are running across the sidewalk, leaves are blowing in the wind. I know my therapists are just thinking of my therapy… but all I can think of is how the warm air feels on my skin and how I never want to take that feeling for granted.”

First day of spring Knights Park, Collingswood, NJ

Happiness

The time I thought “It is set, this is what I get, there is no more for me.” I stopped dreaming, began to accept, patterned and planned to stay as is, grew in that space, did well with it, made time fly, became content if not compartmentalized, had some fun, forgot potential, sat down, slowed my heart rate, closed my eyes, counted my blessings……opened my eyes, everything changed, same world, different rules, new ideas, no plans, some worries, heart beats faster, time flies slower, not content, figuring things out, accepting fate, winning the day, pushing the limits, sharpening my mind, beating my chest, taking wrong turns, feeling important, enjoying the moments, wishing, dreaming, racing, running….for what? “its not set, its turbulent and exciting, scary yet inviting….I will challenge this new course.”